Hospital Bed

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If you’re like me, you have trouble some days getting into the groove. Try spicing up the conversation around the office.
At the office today, the topic around the water cooler was: If you were recuperating in a hospital, who would you want in the bed next to you, excluding relatives?
Naturally, Bob the single guy in the office opted for Beyoncé. Melody, the only single woman, mentioned Kenny Chesney.
Danny’s answer was intriguing as he mentioned Captain Smith from the ship Titanic. They could discuss the grandeur of the ship and find out what really happened.
Myrna’s answer was unique. She would like The Dutchman. Maybe in his sleep he would mention if there really was a mine and its location. Carla mentioned she would pick a Kardashian. Think of all the odd visitors they might have.”
Larry’s answer was unlike anyone else in the office. He wanted no one in the bed beside him. “When I don’t feel well, I don’t want anyone near me!” In contrast, Dianna wanted Marsha who is her best friend.
Gary and Judy’s answers were distinctive, making more than one person roll their eyes. Gary would love to talk to Richard Nixon all night, while Judy could jabber with her mother-in-law.
Norman wanted to talk sports with Bob Costas, while Murl would want to visit with Babe Ruth.
Gary’s choice was Al Capone or Jimmy Hoffa. Interesting yet I’d question if I would feel comfortable closing my eyes at night.
To the question, “Who would you want in the hospital bed beside you?” Richard was quick to answer. “I’d have Donald Trump. Think of all the beautiful Russian ladies that will be there when President Putin stops by.”
Now that’s an all together different subject.

 

 

 

 

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April Spring Showers !

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tomato-plant

Last week the temperature was 62 degrees outside, today we are faced with rain.  Students have given up hopes of missed school days because of the weather. The best offered was getting to sleep in for two extra hours before going to school because of fog.    

On St. Patrick’s Day, one man in Colonial Springs was busy cooking supper on the outside grill.  Two streets over a man was out on his riding lawn mower. 

El Niño has been good to Indiana.

April showers can be expected soon.  Let’s hope we do NOT have a repeat of the April storm of a few years past.  The storm warnings came over the television then the icefalls were falling from the sky.  The hail hit with the force of angry rocks.  I kept waiting for my windows to shatter.  The hail bounced off the street, splashed in the back yard and batter my roof until I felt like I was inside a tin-can target at a shotgun practice. 

The bombardment stopped, moving on to a different city after fifteen minutes.  Neighbors came outdoors to talk and check on the damage.  The car hood looked pitted as though someone had taken a baseball bat to it.  The roof of the house would carry evidence of the storm that would be soon fixed by insurance leaving the pings imprinted by the hail just a memory.

My husband called from work in Columbus.  He was asking about his new garden tomatoes.  He heard we might be getting some rain with a bit of wind.  Well you can kiss those tomato plants goodbye.   

Today we have a slight rain shower but we can’t trust Mother Nature.   While the now famous weather phenomenon has brought an unusually pleasant winter to Indiana, we could still get two to four inches of snow.

Remember this is Indiana.  The bad weather isn’t over until AFTER the boys high school basketball tourneys. 

 

 

 

Christmas Shopping !

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 imadddges

Now the fun can begin. Less than twenty shopping days until Christmas.  Why is it that many of us wait until the very last minute to do our holiday shopping?

Only once could you find me shopping exactly three days before Christmas.  On that day I made a promise to myself, I would never let the shopping days slip away again!

You do not want to find yourself looking for that perfect gift for your loved one on the day before Christmas.  Why?  Because you might not find anything.  That’s why my brother-in-law always winds up with more than one sweatshirt.  When people wait, they can’t find him anything.

Other than the food court, I can’t picture why people enjoy shopping the week before Christmas.  The day after Thanksgiving is traditionally known for being the biggest shopping day in retail.  If we understand this, then why would someone want to fight the crowds two days before Christmas?

The last thing I want to do is spend four or five hours of my time meandering all over the mall, getting pushed and shoved around by a mob of shoppers.

No, I do not cop out of the experience by giving a gift certificate.  Although that idea, for some people is better appreciated.

I do the biggest majority of Christmas shopping in July.  It’s a trade-off, I shop with no hassles.  I leave the shopping on December 23rd to those who want to fight the crowd.

 

 

 

 

Touchdown . . . . ??

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youth-football-clip-art-770042

My nephew is getting ready for his first big game.  He is a football player now.  When he first brought home his uniform, he wore it for most of the day. 

My little nephew  Doug,  came over and showed us  his football gear.    He looked so tiny in his football uniform.   I could almost cry when I saw how  the  mammoth equipment engulfed him.   His bright  red  jersey should intimidate any opposition team. 

He showed me his helmet.  He took special note of the face guard, chin strap and soft padding inside.  I was glad to see a plastic mouthpiece attached, leaving no emergency trip to the dentist.

Doug proudly shows a big number seven on the front and back of his jersey. He has shoulder pads under his shirt that adds a good six inches to his width.  With the hip, knee, and thigh pads in place he resembles a roly-poly about to tip over.  He waddles as he walks.  Only once did he step on my toes with his cleats.

I watched as my husband went out and showed him the right way to hold the football.  His little fingers barely covered the lacing.  When he brought up the ball so that it was just behind his ear to toss, it looked about the size of his head. 

His first lesson was to take the snap of the ball.  The football held high ready to throw then he lets his arm swing down in front.  He drops the ball more than a few times.  I yell that he should take the snap from his wrist.  One more try and then the ball sailed across the grass.

They decided to throw the football in the front yard. The little guy’s first few passes were wobbly.  I yell that my husband should move in closer.  Soon he was throwing the ball straight to his uncle.

Keeping his eyes on the ball, my nephew is ready to catch the ball with both hands.  More than once he missed it so I yell to my husband to move to the right.  Soon, the little guy caught it nearly each time.

They practiced passing the ball for a while and then started to punt it.  The instructions were simple:   Take a short step with your kicking foot, drop the ball as you step forward with the other foot, and then kick the ball with the outside of your foot.   Pow!  The nephew fell flat.   I yell that he needs to kick it before it touches the ground.    Two more attempts and my nephew kicked the football  into the air.

I was glad to be out in the front yard helping.  Each time I yell my husband rolls his eyes.  He suggests that I do NOT attend any of my nephews football practice sessions.  I wouldn’t want to embarrass him would I ?  He says it’s a “guy thing”.

Little Doug’s first football game was this week. Sitting on the bleachers I watched him play football and I did not yell.  Perhaps it was the way my husband grabbed my arm each time I tried to stand. 

They won the football game and he knows he has to practice hard for years and years to become a professional player. 

I wouldn’t save a place on the mantle for the Heisman Trophy just yet.

 

 

 

 

School Daze ! !

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School has started.  There are some parents out there who are still doing a little dance.  Not my sister.  Her son started first grade Monday and neither mother nor aunt is handling it very well.

I am sure that in time he will recover from the embarrassment and shock  caused by his mother holding on to the back bumper of the school bus screaming, “Don’t take my baby!”

On his first day, I took off from the newspaper long enough to see him off to school.    When I arrived he was in line at the bus stop.   Along with his mother, I had hopes of taking him to school.  Neither of us got to take him, which didn’t bother him at all but nearly killed us.

Since neither of us actually got to take him, we hurried down to the school just to watch.  We wanted to see him.  We parked across from the school, watched him get off the bus, and go into the building.

Both his mother and I were able to walk into his first grade room.  I was not prepared for what I saw.  In kindergarten last year, he sat at a big table with the other students.  He looks so tiny now behind the big desk of his own.

I saw my sisters knees get weak and the room must have gotten fuzzy when she saw him sit down at his own desk.  He looked so much older and more mature than the little guy she laid out clothes for that morning.

He immediately started talking to old friends he hadn’t seen all summer.  My sister stood there a little dazed.  Her son did not even know she was in the room.  Odds are she wanted to go over and hug him.  I myself wanted to go comb his hair once again. 

But instead, she walked over to him and whispered something like “Mommy has to go.”  His response must have come as a blow, “Yeah, sure.  Bye.”

She pulled herself together and  walked in front of me out the door.   I gave her a hug in the hallway.  I thought she could use a little encouragement.

I stopped by their house on my way home from work.  I wanted to be there when he got off the bus in the afternoon.  We stayed on the porch when he got off the bus. I will admit that I had my camera. I didn’t care if it embarrassed him or not.  When he is married with children of his own, he might appreciate the picture.  I jumped off the porch and snapped a quick photo.

He spotted me, ran up the walk and gave me a hug.  Life is good in Indiana.   

 

“See My Stuff ?”

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Collections are an odd thing.  Some people call it memorabilia, while others call it a hobby.  A few admit openly, “I collect this stuff.”

 

My friend Dianna has each and every romance paperback book she ever read!  More than a few paperbacks date back to the 1940’s.   While her husband Bob  has a room filled with  Coca Cola merchandise.  He travels the state checking   flea markets for that certain item he can find at the right price. 

 

A school teacher in Greenwood talks about his postage stamps collection. He recently added a  five cent stamp he found for only fifty dollars. That is a good price for a nickel stamp?  My brother-in-law collects the magazine Playboy. He is most proud of an edition featuring Marilyn Monroe, which he could easily sell on eBay and make a hefty profit.  

 

Then there is Ethel who lives down the street.  She collects menus from all the different restaurants she has been at. A few of those restaurant menus I think she just stuck in her purse or jacket and walked out.   On the north side of town is a man who collects fishing lures.  Now that’s a collection you could get hooked on.   The piano teacher of my nephew collects tea cups and I hope he never touches one. 

 

A Johnson County resident was featured on the news with his lunch box collection.  Me, I’m certain that I had a lunch box with Heckle and Jeckle on it that was tossed long ago.  Baffling is Jill, who spends Saturday afternoons at yard sales looking for anything to add to her “McDonalds” collection.

 

I know of more than one person that collects salt and pepper shakers.  They never actually use them.   My sister collects spoons.  Wonder why she wants these miniature spoons that she can never use.

 

Collections vary from person to person.  Postcards, thimbles, beer mugs, angels, perhaps even rocks from different cities. You name it and odds are someone some place might collect it.    No matter what you call it, almost everyone has a habit of keeping a certain something. 

 

If anyone is interested in a collection, my nephew has his bugs from last year science class.  He will try to trade them to someone who has a leaf collection.  He will need that this year.